Do You Sparkle or Do You Glow; But Wait, I'm an Ambivert

“Extroverts sparkle. Introverts glow. Extroverts are fireworks. Introverts are a fire in the hearth.” ~ author Sophia Dembling

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This week I’d like to chat with you about labels. Not the stuff you find on the cans at the grocery. Nope. Those are filled with sodium and sugar. I’m talking about the labels we humans attach to ourselves.

It seems to be a big thing these days. I could try to list all the ‘human’ labels we have for each other, but for sure, I’d miss one or ten and offend someone. You know what I’m talking about.

Am I an Introvert?

I always thought I was an introvert. I have a stash of other labels, too, some of which I claim, and some that have been stuck on me by others, like post it notes that don’t stick very well. I just drop those in my trash can because they don’t really fit.

I used to be super quiet about claiming the label “Introvert”. It was scary to put it out there for others to see, read, digest, judge. I always felt that, somehow, I was supposed to magically be exciting, adventurous, the life of the party. Those were the ‘cool’ people. Those were the extroverts.

Our world celebrates extroverts. The loud. The fast talkers. The flashy celebrities. People who crack a joke off the top of their head. And our society craves more of everything. More stuff. More excitement. More noise.

Now that I’m older and actually survived teenage introversion, I’ve decided that I’m not so bad after all. Plus, thanks to my good friend, Google, I’ve learned that scientists have found out some pretty cool stuff about both extroverts and introverts. (Not to give a spoiler alert, but introverts rock!)

A Harvard study showed that you are born an introvert or an extrovert.🐣 It’s genetic. Ok, your personality may evolve over time, but at your core, you always have a tendency toward one or the other. Great. Now I can blame it on my parents!

Extroverts

Other research proved that extroverts have a completely different gene than introverts. Because of that gene extroverts respond more to dopamine, the chemical released in our brains that makes us feel good. That little gene explains why extroverts get fired up over risk taking, dangerous sports, and things like gambling🎰. All you gamblers…it’s not your fault. It’s in your genes.

Research also shows that extroverts need more stimuli than introverts to feel energized. More stuff. More excitement. More noise. Maybe that explains what we are seeing in society today. Because some researchers are also claiming that 70% of us are extroverts. That data is a little fishy 🐟 because introverts sometimes pretend to be extroverts in order to fit in. But imagine a world ruled by extroverts.😱

Extroverts learn differently than introverts because they respond better to rewards🎖. They get a high from attention, recognition, and excitement. That’s a pretty important thing to know if you’re a teacher or an employer.

Introverts

Ok, so what about introverts? Turns out, they’re pretty cool, too. (Oh, how I wish I had known that in junior high) Here’s a partial list of some of those cool factors:

• Good listeners

• Observant

• Think before speaking

• Detail oriented

• Empathetic

• Work independently

• Relationship builders

• Good romantic partners (Take that, you extroverts!)

Introverts can also play in an extrovert world. They can be outgoing and enjoy being social. The difference is, their world doesn’t revolve around social interaction and, for the most part, small talk isn’t high on their priority list. (I can so identify with that)

A good friend of mine used to say, “I don’t want to go to the party. I just want to get invited.” Copy that.

Ambiverts

In 1947 psychologist Hans Eysenck introduced the term Ambivert. An ambivert is someone who can slide between introversion and extroversion. It’s not always easy.

According to author Daniel Pink, ambiverts “know when to speak up and when to shut up, when to inspect and when to respond, when to push and when to hold back.” Sounds a little like Kenny Rogers, “You gotta know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em, know when to walk away, know when to run.”

Ambiverts may still be happiest curled up on the couch with a good book 📚, but they also enjoy hanging out with friends and going out on the town.

I think I have found a new label. Henceforth, I am an Ambivert. Maybe I’ll just trot over to LinkedIn and add that to my profile.

The good news is, no matter what label you give yourself or others give you, you can always add the label of Kindness.

Where are you on the spectrum of introversion and extroversion? Are you an Ambivert? I hope you will share your thoughts in the comments below.

PS: You might be surprised that these well known individuals are introverts: Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Mark Zuckerberg, Marissa Mayer, Elon Musk, Abraham Lincoln, Eleanor Roosevelt, Albert Einstein, Rosa Parks, Mahatma Gandhi, Lady Gaga, Johnny Depp, Meryl Streep, Keanu Reeves, Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Tiger Woods…..and many more.

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May your week be filled with kindness. 💜

PPS - Visit the Kindness Magnet Library for a collection of all the articles.

Who do you know who would enjoy starting each week with kindness? I hope you will share Kindness Magnet with them.

PPPS - Interested in reading more about Introverts? Here are some Substack newsletters that you may want to check out.

Introvert UpThink

The Introvert Letter

The Introvert Entrepreneur

The Introvert Journal