Which Comes First, Success or Happiness

Success doesn't always mean happiness

Do you remember the 2004 movie, The Aviator, starring Leonardo DiCaprio as Howard Hughes? Although he was one of the most financially successful people in the world, Hughes’ success was overshadowed by eccentricity and his severe obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD).

A film tycoon, Hughes was never satisfied with his productions. At just 23, he produced The Jazz Singer, but he became obsessed with making the film realistic. Even after its Hollywood premier, he ordered the film to be recut.

In the 1930’s and 1940’s, Hughes focused on developing aircraft that could fly farther and faster than anything currently available. In 1938 he broke the world record for flying around the world, but in 1947 he crashed a test plane in Beverly Hills, resulting in a crushed collar bone, multiple broken ribs, a crushed chest with a collapsed left lung that shifted his heart to the right side of his body, and 3rd degree burns. This wasn’t his first crash, but it was his worst.

In 1958 Hughes stayed in his movie screening room for 4 months without leaving the room. He only ate chocolate bars and chicken and milk, surrounding himself with Kleenex boxes, which he continually stacked and rearranged. He did a few other things, but that’s a bit graphic for me.

In 1976, Howard Hughes died on an aircraft coming from Mexico to the Methodist Hospital in Houston. At 6’4”, he weighed just 90 pounds.

Success. Yes.

Happiness. No.

I see someone who has achieved great wealth and success and I think,

“What on earth does that person have to be unhappy about?”

Of course, that question assumes that external success equates to happiness.

It turns out, even if I know everything about your external world, I can only predict 10% of your long term happiness. 10%.

90% of your long term happiness is predicted by how your brain processes your world.

So, I really, really want you to watch this Ted talk, by Shawn Achors.

Why? Because, according to Shawn, most of our parenting behaviors, our work behaviors, and our management behaviors are based on the formula:

Work Harder and you will have More Success = Happiness

Every time you achieve success you move the finish line for what success looks like. You get a job, now you want a better job. You move to a nice home, now you want a bigger home. If happiness is on the other side of success, then you never get there.

Shawn says that formula is backwards. (Yes he backs this up with decades of research)

Our brains work in the opposite order. When you raise someone’s positivity in the present, then their brain experiences a ‘happiness advantage’, which means that your brain at positive performs significantly better than your brain at neutral, negative, or stressed.

I think that Shawn is right.

And….Shawn is an awesome story teller.

I love watching a Ted talk where I laugh and laugh…..and learn something. That’s Shawn.

Ok, so you watched Shawn’s Ted talk. Please tell me you did!

I especially like his idea of writing down 3 things you are grateful for, every day, for 21 days. I usually approach things from a place of happiness (thank you Dad - but that’s another story), so I’m going to try this idea.

And I love Shawn’s idea that, together, we can start a happiness revolution. It sounds peaceful and effective. Are you on board?

May your life be filled with Kindness 💜

Heather Johnston Brebaugh

Read my bio, background and quirks.

You can also click here for a collection of my other articles on Practical Kindness.

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Do you know someone who wants to reverse the success formula? I hope you will share this story with them.

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