On my brother’s birthday in 2015, my mom died at Mooring Park memory care facility in Florida. She never came home to the things she had lovingly accumulated over the years. Closets of clothing, her memories, her stories.
The year before, I flew from California to Florida and cleaned out her things. New shoes, still in boxes, 3 sets of china (one unpacked), vintage bottles of wine that had been stored upright, 3 jars of mint jelly in the frig, the dress she wore to my 1970 wedding, dozens of elbow length gloves, an old mink coat, handbags in meticulous rows on shelves, three dressers of fabric on bolts.
It was an overwhelming volume of stuff.
I pitched, or set things aside for my brother or me or the grandchildren. I cried, being alone and throwing away someone else’s lifetime.
Her jewelry was easier to sort through. Her live-in ‘helper’ had helped herself to most of it, which we discovered, a little too late.
Later, my brother photographed the furniture, the artwork, everything left and put it on Dropbox for the grandkids to choose family memories. They selected almost nothing.
Guilt kept me from letting go. Chinese prints, antique Imari , water colors from Indian markets, French toile chairs, oriental rugs. This became my home’s decor.
One evening, as I stared at three oriental prints that I never liked, I realized that my Mom’s inability to let things go, was actually a lesson in Kindness.
Let go of the stuff.
No one else really wants it.
Ask them what they want while you are still living, and then, let the rest go.
No closets to clean out, no mint jelly to throw away. Just fond memories to leave behind that don’t take up too much room.
May your life be filled with Kindness 💜
Heather Johnston Brebaugh
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Fantastic story about letting go....I appreciate your willingness to share. I had a similar experience clearing out my mothers belongings a few years ago. Looking forward to next weeks edition.
This was absolutely beautiful. I got very choked up by your thoughtful and vulnerable insights! thank you for sharing, Heather.