How to Open Your Very Own Kindness Account
It Pays Great Dividends...
“It is one of the beautiful compensations in this life that no one can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
When I was a just a pipsqueak, my parents helped me open a savings account at the little bank in Glen Rock, New Jersey. The bank gave me a small book, about the size and look of a passport. It was called a Savings Passbook.
My passbook had a little brown, soft cover and I kept it in a small drawer of my desk in my room. I could pull it out whenever I wanted and delight at the tiny bit of interest that was neatly printed on the most recent page.
Each time I deposited money, the bank teller stamped my book and wrote in (by hand) the new amount in my account, along with the interest (dividends) that I had earned. It was swell. That’s what I said back then, in one of my grown up moments.
Savings passbooks, which originated in the 1800’s, let bank customers ‘carry’ their accounts with them. Before passbooks, the only record of transactions was a large, leather bound bank ledger kept at the bank. I wonder if people had more trust in banks back then…
Savings passbooks have disappeared like rotary phones and encyclopedias (and saying the word ‘swell’). But as a person who enjoys the touch and feel of ‘real’ books - sorry Kindle - I love the idea of having my own, tangible passbook. And I also love the idea of getting paid dividends for saving really important things.
Which brings me to the very essence of a Savings Passbook - a place to record things that are of value to you…things that pay you dividends.
So I’m resurrecting the Savings Passbook, but with a slight twist and a new name. No moolah needed.
Welcome to the Kindness Account Passbook
You can make deposits into your Kindness Account, more than once a day, if you want.
Deposits add up quickly and they all pay dividends.
So how does this work, you want to know…
It’s a bit of a twist on the ‘Law of Reciprocity’ with a sprinkling of kindness on top.
The Law of Reciprocity says that when someone does something nice for you, you are more likely to do something nice for them. And the definition of kindness is ‘being friendly, generous and considerate’.
Your kind acts start the law of reciprocity in motion.
“But wait,” you say,…. “aren’t I supposed to do kind things without expecting something in return?”
Well….Yes. And No.
Here’s why.
Science has proven that when you do something kind for someone, you benefit.
Less stress
Improves heart health
More optimism
Lowers depression
Better relationships
Your body releases serotonin, giving you a feeling of happiness. It’s gonna happen. Every time. It’s just how our brains are wired.
So banish your self-limiting belief that you should only be kind when you don’t expect something in return - it's ok to know that your kindnesses will benefit you. And it's ok to expect it.
Generosity is doing something for someone else, expecting nothing in return. ~Simon Sinek
How to Start Your Kindness Passport Account
First…this is not a gratitude journal. In a gratitude journal you write down things that you are grateful for. Like… your friends, the beautiful mountains, your new job, the cute puppy.
In a Kindness Passbook, you record your kind acts. Maybe today you called a friend that you hadn’t talked to in a while. Or you opened the door for a co-worker. Or you picked up some milk at the grocery for a neighbor. Or pulled in their trash bin. Big or small, write down your kind acts in your passbook.
And for extra dividends, write down kind acts that others did for you. Did someone give you a special smile today? Did someone share a funny story? Buy you a cup of coffee? Comment on your Substack? (For my writer friends!). Jot down their names, or note that it was a stranger.
As you write your kind acts in your passbook your heart rate will slow, you’ll start to see the broader world and connections around you that you are impacting, you’ll see the people who are giving to you, and you’ll become kinder to yourself. Your account will start to pay dividends - connections, opportunities, better health. And you can deposit into it any time, even on holidays! Plus you can reignite all those benefits any time, simply by reading through the entries in your passbook.
As you build your Kindness Account, you are also building someone else’s. Your kind acts create a ripple effect. It's like giving someone a dollar every time you do a kind act. They get to deposit into their Kindness Account. I wish regular bank accounts worked that way!
Let’s Get Started
It’s easy to open your own Kindness Passport Account. Here’s a simple passport page that you can print out and duplicate.
For my artistic friends, I’d love to see your ideas to make the Kindness Passport even better. This could be the start of something big!
May your week be filled with kindness. 💚
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Neat idea, Heather! I do remember my savings account passbook, from the old days, LOL.
You are so clever, Heather. I love this whole idea. I, for one, will probably not be writing in a kindness passbook, but at the end of each day, lying in bed, I do count the moments of kindness given and received during the day. It helps me feel part of a special community of people who care about each other and I sleep better. You sparked a memory of the savings passbooks we had at elementary school. Once a week, the teacher brought out the shoebox full of passbooks in their little envelopes and we children would read our updated accounts and put money in the envelope to be added to our accounts. I rarely had more than one little dime to add to my envelope, but I was learning good habits. I had forgotten all about that until just now. Thank you.