Oh my gosh, Mitchell, that's so funny about Philly. I can identify with Virginia, having lived in Charlottesville for awhile. My best friend there was from North Carolina and she was soooo sweet. She would say hello to everyone.
I now have a fun visual of you and your lovely wife at the store. 💚
My wife loves to smile and greet people, and when we lived in Southern Africa, she always got warm smiles and polite greetings in return. Then we moved to the old USSR where smiles were rare and stony silence was the norm. She didn’t give up, though, and she found ways to get smiles back even in a land where there was a long history of nothing to smile about.
Smiling is universal (I think). How wonderful that she persevered. All those little smiles that she gave add up to making a difference. She must be lovely.
Greetiness! Great word, Mitchell. And, yes - one does not necessarily have to be an extrovert ( I am not.) to offer a little cheer. In the market, it is not difficult to tell which person needs a lift.
I find that sometimes, 'how're you doing' isn't an invitation to respond but more of a phrase that's simple tagged on to 'hello'. You end up saying the bog standard 'yeah, good' or something to that effect because you know it's meaningless.
Yes, that can happen. A lot depends on how you say it. If it's just an off-hand 'how ya doin', it does come across as a nothing. By saying 'How's your day going today' and putting an emphasis on the word 'your'....and looking the person in the eyes (and slowing down when you say it), your phrase takes on meaning.
People are conditioned to respond with 'yeah, good' because we, as humans, have made that how're you doing meaningless. We don't look the other person in the eyes and we don't really say it like we mean it.
When you have a chance to give it a try, I'd love to hear back to see if you can elicit a different response from people.
Great thoughts today Heather! I like the phrase “How’s your day going?” as opposed to “How are you?” Seems a bit more personal and caring. I need to work on that.
What a lovely reminder, Heather. Such an easy way to brighten someone's day and thereby, brighten our own! In the super market, we all walk up and down those aisles in our own little world. Stop and say to an elderly woman, "That pink sweater looks so nice! A perfect color for you." You will make her entire day in just those few words. There is something wonderful about being recognized or acknowledged. We old folks feel so invisible sometimes. It is a gift to be "seen".
I love how you have taken this a step further, Sharron. There are so many ways to engage with others. And why wouldn't we? The serotonin is flowing! If we only have one shot at life, why not make it the most wondrous possible, when possible?
As you know from my Take Good Care of Your Old Guy series, I spend a lot of time with my 92 year old best friend, and I can get a little testy when people talk over him or about him in third person. Geez. They show more respect to a dog. I have learned, however, that there are a few places in Boise where the attitude is completely different.
Most of the Mongolian grills in town are actually owned by Americans who immigrated here after the Vietnam war. In one of the grills, there is a wonderful woman who hosts, cashiers, and always spends time talking to my friend and me. She calls him my Dad-dee in her sweet accent. She shows us photos of her Dad-dee who lives near Hanoi, and loves to tell us stories about how he keeps planting trees and gardens everyday even in his late eighties. She has so much love and respect for older folks. If it wasn’t for immigrants like her, old folks would be about 95% more invisible.
When I go to the restaurant without my old guy, she always asks about him and makes sure I am taking good care of my Dad-dee.
You figured out my method. Heh. Hard to keep a secret around here, but reading posts and responding is how a lot of my posts get started. I’ll do one about this just for you.
As someone who has always talked to folk at the checkouts, I love this tale. I have a lot of improvements to make to my French before I can have a proper chat, but I'm trying!
We have a tiny farm, much-neglected for the past few years. So we are trying to breathe some life back into it. Nearly a year in we have watched the seasons and learned a lot so we are starting to gently push out. We're trying to be without a vehicle so it is the slow road by bike. Plenty to explore, indeed!
I love it. So simple. After a few months of new neighbours from hell, i need to turn things around. Maybe not with them but I can do it with others. Thanks Heather 😊
Heather, I got busted once when I was a kid and I never forgot the conversation or the lesson I learned from a guy in a wheelchair chair who asked me how my day was going:
Oh my gosh, Mitchell, that's so funny about Philly. I can identify with Virginia, having lived in Charlottesville for awhile. My best friend there was from North Carolina and she was soooo sweet. She would say hello to everyone.
I now have a fun visual of you and your lovely wife at the store. 💚
My wife loves to smile and greet people, and when we lived in Southern Africa, she always got warm smiles and polite greetings in return. Then we moved to the old USSR where smiles were rare and stony silence was the norm. She didn’t give up, though, and she found ways to get smiles back even in a land where there was a long history of nothing to smile about.
Where there is a will, there is a way.
Smiling is universal (I think). How wonderful that she persevered. All those little smiles that she gave add up to making a difference. She must be lovely.
Greetiness! Great word, Mitchell. And, yes - one does not necessarily have to be an extrovert ( I am not.) to offer a little cheer. In the market, it is not difficult to tell which person needs a lift.
This is good! ❤️🙏👏
Thank you, Paolo. 💚
I find that sometimes, 'how're you doing' isn't an invitation to respond but more of a phrase that's simple tagged on to 'hello'. You end up saying the bog standard 'yeah, good' or something to that effect because you know it's meaningless.
Yes, that can happen. A lot depends on how you say it. If it's just an off-hand 'how ya doin', it does come across as a nothing. By saying 'How's your day going today' and putting an emphasis on the word 'your'....and looking the person in the eyes (and slowing down when you say it), your phrase takes on meaning.
People are conditioned to respond with 'yeah, good' because we, as humans, have made that how're you doing meaningless. We don't look the other person in the eyes and we don't really say it like we mean it.
When you have a chance to give it a try, I'd love to hear back to see if you can elicit a different response from people.
Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.💚
Oh yes, how you say it definitely matters.
Exactly so. Make it real.
Great thoughts today Heather! I like the phrase “How’s your day going?” as opposed to “How are you?” Seems a bit more personal and caring. I need to work on that.
You're always cheery and friendly. I imagine you easily engaging with people. 💚
People have become so accustomed to 'how are you' that they assume it doesn't require a response. It's like the words don't mean anything.
Thank you for the restack, @Make Pure Thy Heart. 💚
On my walk, already did this 3 times. 3 more then I’m good to go ❤️
That's awesome! Did you get some engagement? (she asks hopefully...)
What a lovely reminder, Heather. Such an easy way to brighten someone's day and thereby, brighten our own! In the super market, we all walk up and down those aisles in our own little world. Stop and say to an elderly woman, "That pink sweater looks so nice! A perfect color for you." You will make her entire day in just those few words. There is something wonderful about being recognized or acknowledged. We old folks feel so invisible sometimes. It is a gift to be "seen".
I love how you have taken this a step further, Sharron. There are so many ways to engage with others. And why wouldn't we? The serotonin is flowing! If we only have one shot at life, why not make it the most wondrous possible, when possible?
If not now, when?
As you know from my Take Good Care of Your Old Guy series, I spend a lot of time with my 92 year old best friend, and I can get a little testy when people talk over him or about him in third person. Geez. They show more respect to a dog. I have learned, however, that there are a few places in Boise where the attitude is completely different.
Most of the Mongolian grills in town are actually owned by Americans who immigrated here after the Vietnam war. In one of the grills, there is a wonderful woman who hosts, cashiers, and always spends time talking to my friend and me. She calls him my Dad-dee in her sweet accent. She shows us photos of her Dad-dee who lives near Hanoi, and loves to tell us stories about how he keeps planting trees and gardens everyday even in his late eighties. She has so much love and respect for older folks. If it wasn’t for immigrants like her, old folks would be about 95% more invisible.
When I go to the restaurant without my old guy, she always asks about him and makes sure I am taking good care of my Dad-dee.
P.S. I think my old guy is in love!
This would make a great story, Mr Switter. A new post!
You figured out my method. Heh. Hard to keep a secret around here, but reading posts and responding is how a lot of my posts get started. I’ll do one about this just for you.
As someone who has always talked to folk at the checkouts, I love this tale. I have a lot of improvements to make to my French before I can have a proper chat, but I'm trying!
It sounds like there is a story there. Would love to hear more!
We moved to France last Autumn and still trying to have enough words to inject a bit of 'us' into the conversations. We'll get there!
That sounds like a wonderful, fun challenge! Bon chance.
Merci bien. Ce matin nous partons au marché
I hope it was wonderful. There must be so much for you to explore!
We have a tiny farm, much-neglected for the past few years. So we are trying to breathe some life back into it. Nearly a year in we have watched the seasons and learned a lot so we are starting to gently push out. We're trying to be without a vehicle so it is the slow road by bike. Plenty to explore, indeed!
I love it. So simple. After a few months of new neighbours from hell, i need to turn things around. Maybe not with them but I can do it with others. Thanks Heather 😊
Thank you.
Sorry to hear about the new neighbors. Everyone has a story.
We had some wicked neighbors a while ago. I tried everything I could think of to uncover the cause of their angst...with no success.
You are so right...sometimes you have to move on to someone more receptive.
Heather, I got busted once when I was a kid and I never forgot the conversation or the lesson I learned from a guy in a wheelchair chair who asked me how my day was going:
https://switters.substack.com/p/dumb-thoughtless-kid-stuff
That's a good lesson from a good person.
I had a sort of similar incident. I wish I could say I was just a kid when it happened. Never too old for some good old fashioned humble pie. https://heatherbrebaugh.substack.com/p/man-on-bus