Part II: 1936 Olympics; Courageous Kindness; Start Small

“Have courage and be kind. For where there is kindness there is goodness, and where there is goodness there is magic.” ~ Cinderella

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Last week, in Part 1, we visited the 1936 Olympics and the courageously kind story of Carl (Luz) Long and Jesse Owens. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, take a moment to do so now. It’s a part of history you won’t want to miss.

Carl (Luz) Long and Jesse Owens at the 1936 Olympics

Part II

Carl (Luz) Long defied Adolph Hitler on the Olympic stage in front of more than 100,000 fans. While most of us will never have that kind of opportunity, we can all be courageously kind in small ways by saying what we think with kindness. Science calls it Assertive Kindness. I’m partial to Courageous Kindness.

In today’s world there are plenty of opportunities to practice courageous kindness. With friends. With family. At work. Relationships. Social media. Politics. Ok, maybe I’m getting a little carried away…but hey, I can dream.

Sometimes it’s really hard to be courageous… to talk about what you want, need, or believe. When we get in conversations we get bowled over or just sit on the sidelines. We often think of the perfect ‘comeback’ or what we ‘should have said’ long after the conversation is over. Oh yes, totally guilty of that. Give me ten minutes after the conversation is over and I will have a very snappy comeback.

Here’s a scientific list of reasons why we fail to stand up for ourselves:

✅ Fear of being rejected

✅ Fear of being perceived as aggressive

✅ Feeling responsible for everyone’s happiness (except yours!)

✅ It’s safer to be a ‘people pleaser’

✅ When you finally do stand up for yourself, you tend to explode

✅ Feeling anxious when you try to say what you want

✅ You were raised to be passive

✅ You don’t know how to be assertive and still be kind

✅ You think others won’t value your opinions

Sheesh, that’s a long list. And I checked off a lot of those boxes. Did you?

But hey, don’t get discouraged. Your thoughts, ideas, opinions and dreams matter. If you keep them bottled up inside, you’re holding back your gifts 🎁 from others.

Being courageously kind isn’t as terrifying if you start small. Here’s how to get started:

🎁 Listen respectfully to others and thank them for their thoughts and ideas

🎁 Choose a friend to try out your first attempts at courageous kindness

🎁 As you deliver your comments, do not use the word ‘but’. It negates everything that was said before that. “I understand what you said, but…”

🎁 Be your authentic self. Say what you believe and why you believe it.

🎁 Use the “I” word…”I need to have an hour each day to work alone on my book.”

🎁 Don’t blame the other person. “You never let me do….”

🎁 Practice saying “No”, using your kindness skills. “While I appreciate you asking me to help with that project, I’m going to respectfully decline because my plate is already full.”

🎁 Clarify their understanding. “Does what I said make sense to you?”

People often think that by being passive they are going to be better liked. But being passive can cost you respect, make you a target for getting pushed around, and cause you to lose opportunities because you don’t speak up. The results are exactly the opposite of what you are trying to achieve. We humans are weird that way!

Have the courage to be your authentic self by stepping up to what you need, want, believe and dream. Be kind, respectful, and assertive in your delivery. You’ll be amazed at the power you have when you are courageously kind. You may never be an Olympian, but you will have won a personal medal for your courage.

So, getting back to that whole social media and politics thing…maybe there is an opportunity to bring about change by just starting small….and being courageously kind. Together, we can do this.

May your week be filled with kindness. 💜

PPS - Visit the Kindness Magnet Library for a collection of all the articles.

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