Dumpster Diving; The Gift That Keeps Giving

“If you just communicate, you can get by. But if you communicate skillfully, you can work miracles.” ~ Jim Rohn

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Have you ever found yourself in a conversation that starts out politely, but dissolves into something your mother wouldn’t be proud of?

Last week I had an email exchange with someone that started out nicely 😊, even though it was about a problem that I was having.

But over the course of several emails, the conversation took a nose dive, pretty much ending up in the dumpster of anger👿. Have you ever been in that dumpster? It’s hard to climb out once you’ve jumped in.

It didn’t feel good.

So I gave myself a stern talking-to and decided to spend some energy on Kindness Communication.

Communication is controllable. And learnable. More like a skill, than something we’re born with. I’m working on habits to be a better communicator. I think it starts with being a good listener, so that’s what I’m working on right now.

There’s lots of research on listening skills. One study came up with 7 ways to be a better listener. But heck, by the time I remember all 7 of those, the conversation will probably be over. So I’m sticking with 3. Here they are:

💚 Ask open ended questions.

💚 Focus on what the person is saying instead of what you’re planning to say
back.

💚 Thank them for what they said before responding with your thoughts.

That third one….’thank them for what they said’….that trips me up sometimes. But I’m going to keep at it because, as soon as I say ‘thank you’, I realize that the whole tone of the conversation changes. For the better.

Photo by Alexas_Fotos on Unsplash

Here are a few examples of Open Ended Questions:

• “What’s going on in your world today?”

• “What do you think about (add topic here)?”

• “How do you feel about (add topic here)?”

What open ended questions do you like to use?

Communication makes a huge difference in every aspect of our lives. It affects our family relationships, our relationships with friends, and our relationships at work. And you pet owners know, it affects your relationship with your animal friends, too 🐶😺.

When we actively practice kind communication and active listening, we are giving ourselves a very useful gift 🎁. I like to think of it as a present that I can open and enjoy every time I communicate with someone. That’s a lot of presents!

I hope you’ll join me this week in creating a 3-step communication habit. When you start a conversation, begin by asking the other person an open ended question, then just focus on what they are saying and, when they are done, thank them for sharing it with you. I’d love to hear how it goes! 💜

Oh, and if you’ve ever done Angry Dumpster Diving, let us know in the comments!

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Feedback Please

I have a purpose for writing Kindness Magnet. I envision people all over the world building kindness habits that they use to benefit their own lives and the lives of others. I can imagine it. With your help, together we can create it!

You have a purpose for reading Kindness Magnet. I’d love to get those two purposes aligned.

To help me do that, would you be open to telling me what you would like to receive? Feel free to tell me whatever comes to mind!

I would value your thoughts and ideas on what you’d like to get in your Inbox each week.

If you feel comfortable putting your thoughts in the comments, that would be great. Or, if you’d prefer, just reply to this email and let me know privately. I read them all.

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If you enjoyed Kindness Magnet, I hope you will share it with your friends.

Thanks for reading….and thanks for inspiring me to continue writing. You make a difference.

May your week be filled with kindness. 💜

PS - Visit the Kindness Magnet Library for a collection of all the articles.