What's All the Stink About?

A Skunk's Lesson in Communicating With Kindness

THE KINDA KIND SERIES

Hello friends. This is the first episode in the new Kindness Magnet series, Kinda Kind. Sometimes kindness isn’t in your face. It’s more subtle. It’s Kinda Kind.

In this series we’ll be going down the Communication Rabbit Hole to find those little kindnesses that can make a big difference in our lives. Come on and join me for some serious fun.

⭐ A quick note before we get started. You can read this post on my website (instead of in email) by clicking here. Sometimes it’s a better reading experience, plus, as a bonus, you’ll have access to the whole kit and kaboodle of Kindness Magnet posts. 💚

⭐⭐If for some wild, crazy unexplained reason you aren’t part of our kindness community yet, you can do that right here! Here are 4 excellent reasons to subscribe: You like kindness; You like humor and kindness; You want to hang out with cool, kind people; You feel sorry for me and you want to be kind (kidding, sort of lol).

🦨 WE’VE GOT SKUNKS

Skunks in my yard!

We built our home on about an acre in a development that used to be part of a 5,500 acre cattle ranch 🐮 in northern Arizona. It’s just my husband and me. Or so we thought. But…

We’ve got skunks.🦨

For the most part it’s a pretty sweet relationship. During the day they sleep…. we play. At night we sleep…. they play.

If you were thinking about it in terms of time management, it’s an efficient use of 24 hours, in my opinion.  

We don’t really get in each other’s way, with one exception…

🌻 THE GARDEN

I love my garden. It’s a colorful menagerie of wildflowers, hibiscus, catmint, daylilies, honeysuckle, oak trees, junipers and so much more.

A thick layer of mulch hugs my plants like a soft brown blanket, providing nutrients and a haven for grubs. And there’s the problem. Grubs. Skunks dig them up for a late night happy hour.

When I dig in my garden, I carefully tuck the soil back in place and rake around the plants. It’s all neat and tidy, just the way I like it. I’m half Brit, what can I say.

Skunks have no gardening etiquette. They’re so rude. They create tiny volcanic eruptions all over the yard. Mounds and craters everywhere.

Sometimes they root under small plants and heave them into the air. Do they put them back when they’re done? No. They leave the poor defenseless plants upside down, little roots kicking helplessly.

In my mind I see skunks running around the yard, tails a-plume, chucking tiny plants skyward, whooping it up and having their own version of a garden party. Not to be confused with Ricky Nelson’s version. (homage to elders…)

📝 EVICTION NOTICE?

Until this partying got out of control I was ok having squatters on my property, but I’m thinking it’s time to evict them. It’s not like this is an Airbnb, right?

And we’re not in California like that LA dentist whose Airbnb renter is still squatting after 540 days… and she’s now suing him for a $100,000 relocation fee. Looks like she might win, too.

What is this world coming to, I ask myself completely out of context of my skunk story.

We don’t have laws here like California where they can become permanent squatters. But we do have laws about getting rid of skunks. And it’s kinda like those California laws. So I consulted our local lawyer… umm pest control person, Drew.

THE PROCESS

“Skunks have rights. You can’t just evict them,” Drew said.

Oh no. You first have to invite them to a very posh dinner and provide a comfortable dining room. Meals can be a seafood selection of sardines in oil, or for the vegans… bird seed encrusted peanut butter balls served on a silver plate.

Then, if they enjoy the meal and hang around after dinner, you have just 24 hours to escort them to their new home.

Actually, you personally cannot do the honors. They must be chauffeured by a Certified Relocation Expert, which sounds borderline like a lawyer. Their new home should be at least five miles away unless you plan to welcome them back, which I do not recommend.

💲 RELOCATION FEES

You also have to pay a relocation fee to help them get snuggled into their new digs. It’s $60 per skunk, plus the dining room rental, which goes for $325 per week, the minimum. When I googled ‘skunks in a den’ (not to be confused with snakes on a plane) and discovered that there can be up to 20 per den, I started doing the relocation math and frankly, it stunk. 💲

KINDA KIND (Ah, are we finally here?)

Feeling outnumbered, I decided that being kind might be a better, and cheaper, approach. I bought them a lovely, scented gift… Eau de Coyoté, a signature, full bodied parfume from Home Depot. In color it resembles Chanel No. 5 (which I wear), so you can see how I could mistakenly have thought my friends would appreciate it.

I sprayed it liberally, and in a welcoming manner around my plants, then went to bed, feeling like those cute little elves from the story of the shoemaker. However, apparently skunks hate certain odors (as if they have room to judge), Eau de Coyoté being one.

My thanks? Two uprooted daylilies and a lopsided blue fescue. Ratzlefratz. I was mad. 😡

THE COMMUNICATION RABBIT HOLE

When skunks get mad they stomp their little feet in warning. They don’t say Ratzlefratz because… well… they can’t talk. Back off, unless you want to wear Eau de Skunk, also not from Chanel.

Lately I feel that the communication channels have broken down. I want my garden. The skunks want their grubs.

After taking a deep, fresh breath, I did some digging of my own into skunks. In the fall their little claws work overtime to fatten them up for winter. They don’t exactly hibernate, but they like to huddle up in their dens to keep warm. So from November until early March, my garden should be pretty skunk-free. It does kinda stink though, that by May we may have several kits (not as in kittens) running around.

And it turns out that grubs, which are really beetle larvae (eww), can get their grubby, slimy little selves all over my plants, especially from July through October. My garden has a lot of grubs. It actually makes sense to invite the skunks to happy hour. Yes, I said that.

Alright, already. I guess I can smooth out the mounds and craters in the morning. Maybe even burn a few calories. It’s a good excuse to hang out in my garden. And thank my skunk neighbors for munching a few grubs. They’re doing their part.

LESSONS FROM THE RABBIT HOLE

Maybe things aren’t always as black and white as they seem. Maybe I was too quick to judge. Maybe skunks can seem like little stinkers when I really just needed to appreciate the sweet little things. Maybe if I take the time to listen and learn and consider what each of us brings to the table, I’ll see things differently. And the world will stink less. Maybe this isn’t just about skunks… IDK, what do you think?🦨

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💬 COMMENTS

1. What’s your best skunk story? 🦨

2. Have you ever had a time where communication just stunk?

3. Got some communication advice?

4. Wanna just say hi?

5. Did you know that a group of skunks is called a Surfeit? And the definition of ‘surfeit’ is ‘an excessive amount of something’. Whoever decided to name a group of skunks a surfeit was on to something.

⭐Hi, if you’re still here (yippee), I’d like to invite you to check out my new newsletter, the After 21 Club. I describe it as “A sweet retreat where Friday meets you on the way to life's little pleasures. Reviews, recommendations, and thoughts to share from multiple generations.” I hope you will visit and sign up, if you wish. Articles come out on Fridays. Check out the archives.⭐